A key component of my work with clients is around the HeartMath® tool called the Coherent Communication™ Technique. This way of being in the flow with others will remove the drama from daily or ultra-sensitive conversations. One thing that is also an issue is the constant rehashing (going over again and again) of the situation that has disturbed you. This issue of post-communication energy drain is as big as the original issue of the conversation. The following steps work well in all situations where we are having a difficult interaction. In today’s business and political climate, dread of conversational blow-ups is substantially increased. When you have internalized this important tool, the drain on your battery will stop and you will again build energy reserves. Each time you have a successful communication, this energy will grow.
Step 1: Shift into a heart coherent state before the communication begins. For example, set an intention to be respectful of others’ views or situations.
Step 2: Listen for the essence of what is being said without prejudging or getting pulled into drama before the communication is complete. (Re-center in your heart if you start to over react or lose emotional composure.)
Step 3: During important or sensitive communications it’s essential to confirm the essence of what you heard to insure mutual understanding. As you are speaking to confirm the essence, speak with a genuine tone. (In other words, you want to understand what was said and give it back to the speaker with respect.)
When we are rushing communications, step 3 is most often forgotten, yet is most important.
This process is meant to remove the drama from any communications. This is not to say you must accept what the speaker is saying, though you feed back to them exactly what you heard. They may want to correct or restate, but that’s part of the conversation. The main thing is to understand deeply what is being said and from what emotional point. Afterwards, using your tools, you will be able to say what you feel is true without sinking into the drama but speaking from the energetic strength of your heart. You won’t always get the result you desire, but you will go away from the interaction knowing you did what was right for you. Then you are free to choose other actions from a centered and powerful place, not the weakness of anger or hurt.
Let me know how you feel about these blogs and if there’s anything you would like me to address specifically.