Conversational Tools to Transform Home and Work

If I create from the heart, nearly everything works; if from the head, almost nothing.
Marc Chagall, Artist

Our lives are a creation of our own personal intentions. It is as if we are painting our lives, or composing our lives, with an artist’s eye. As Marc Chagall famously said, art doesn’t work if it comes from the head—or the intellect. The heart has to be the fundamental source of our creations. This is true of daily interactions with friends, co-workers, family and our partners. It is also true of daily contact with those around us—like the check-out person at the grocery store, or the waitress at our favorite restaurant. The basic necessity for this kind of interaction is heart awareness. When we are heart aware, as we will be when using the tools I’m sharing, our casual and intimate conversations will be more coherent, honest and result in good outcomes. The combination of awareness of our energy as a carrier of emotions and our ability to communicate with heart-based intention creates a life filled with the flow I talked about in my last blog describing coherence. It’s a good idea to remember on a daily basis what coherence is: the heart, mind, body and emotions are all working in sync, filling our battery with energy.

So, when you enter into a conversation with someone—individual or group at work—and you stay aware of your emotions, several things can happen. For example, we can begin a conversation with a spouse about a child and suddenly we are veering off into a place of “whose fault is it?”  What happens to us physiologically? Our heart rate increases, our voice goes up a notch or goes silent, we feel anxious and defensive. These are only a few of the things that are happening as they are what we are aware of. What is happening silently in your body is a multiplicity of hormones being released to put us into the “fight or flight” state of stress.  Another example: you have just completed months of work on a successful project. In the board meeting to announce the success, your co-worker—or superior—steps up to take credit for your work. This happens often in the medical field and the academic field as well. What happens to your emotional and energetic body at this time? The first tool to use is the one we learned earlier: called the Quick Coherence® Technique. Here’s a quick recap: Focus your attention in the area of your heart. Breathe in more deeply than usual. Experience a regenerative feeling such as appreciation or care. Once you have calmed your emotions, you can move on to an action that your heart suggests. The next blog will cover having a coherent conversation in full.

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