Being in a World of Doing

Being in a World Obsessed with Doing                                                                            by Therese Tappouni

Thoughts are our inner senses   Meister Eckhart

When I began this blog, I had no idea that within 48 hours Lance and I would be driving through an intersection two blocks from home and be slammed by a speeding car blowing through a stop sign. My intent of writing about “being” turned into days of “doing:” insurance, tow companies, doctors, monitoring levels of pain and paying attention to emotional issues around “Why me?” I have always said “Why NOT me?” but saying it and believing it are different areas of the brain/body system. I advise my clients that comparing their wounds to those of others is a useless endeavor and leads nowhere. All of my teaching tools are coming in handy! And, because of another setback to my mobility, the subject for this blog speaks to me even more convincingly. When the world says to STOP! in a way I can’t ignore, there’s not much choice involved. So, I am being, as much as that is possible, and writing this in the midst of a life that frequently challenges my intentions.

A study from 2012 has been resurrected at the perfect time. The conclusions are found in a book by nurse Bonnie Ware titled The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. Reading it forces readers to challenge what they feel are the most important things in lives of doing. The regrets of the dying were not about wishing they had accumulated more “stuff” including awards and praise. Their regrets as they faced imminent death all had to do with relationships to others and self, with #1 being their wish to have done what made them happy, “regardless of the expectations of family, friends and society.” Time spent pursuing more money, things and awards was seen as time squandered when they could have simplified their life and spent more time with self, friends and loved ones. It wasn’t until they were weeks, or even days, away from death that they realized happiness was a choice.

Meister Eckhart, a brilliant theologian born in 1260, taught of the “…coming home to your soul, to the house that you never left…” In order to nourish and feed the soul, we need to turn away from things and be inside our thoughts, desires and inspirations quietly and regularly. Eckhart says “Thoughts are our inner senses.” Without the time alone with our thoughts, we are in a world constantly bombarding us with images, instructions, and things that have no relationship to our heart and soul. And without a relationship to our heart and soul, we are unable to reach our human potential.

Some spend years looking for a perfect plan or guidance to follow from another person or program. There is no such plan. Lance and I teach our clients skills to help them clear trauma and create time, space and opportunity for their own guidance to blossom. It is always the intent for each of us to create that quiet space within that allows us to communicate with our deepest selves and our truest Truths. If we start by allowing ourselves to commit to time in the day that is all ours, in peace and quiet, we will begin to discover our own flow and practice of being in a place of gratitude and peace and defining what things are important to us, personally, versus what is learned behavior from society.

Slow and easy is my current mantra, and regardless of urging to the contrary, the time I need to focus on my own thoughts and desires is paramount. I can’t imagine I would ever go back to a time of forgetting to “nourish and feed my soul,” no matter what unexpected events challenge me in life.  I wish the same for you.

Therese Tappouni, is the author of “The Gifts of Grief: Finding Light in the Darkness of Loss,” a HeartMath® Trainer, and life coach.

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