I’ve Been Thinking

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Shocking! I admit that I’ve been reading Ursula LeGuin again, and she always gets my brain stirred up. She reminded me, in a satirical essay titled “Introducing Myself” from her wonderful book The Wave in the Mind, that we’re the last generation who remembers when women were “he.” Ms. LeGuin is one of those writers I go to when I want to be stimulated emotionally or intellectually or just have a good read.
So, I am old enough to remember when we were up in arms about the meaning of he/her and the absolute absence of the feminine pronoun in our founding documents and everything else leading to the upheaval of the 1960s. All men are created equal, being only one example. Even that didn’t mean ALL men. She writes about the desire to live up to the label of man as a woman in American society. She reminds us: “If we have anything to learn from politicians it’s that details don’t matter. “I am a man”, she declares, “and I want you to believe and accept this as a fact, just as I did for many years.” She pronounces that women are a very recent invention. And, given the historical facts of the matter, she’s right.
How do we take our granddaughters by the hand and introduce them to the facts of our lives? Would they believe it? Would they care? Would they understand that the romantic idea that women be small, lean and taut had everything to do with manliness and not womanliness? Would they be able to find the imaginative thread to revisit a time when women couldn’t own land, borrow money, make a decision about the future? And why have I gone from appreciating the satire of one of my favorite writers to tears on my cheeks as I think about this? I am a product of the man to woman generation, and we’re still trying to get it right.
It seems to me that we have many unhealed wounds relating to our history. And yet, just as I did, we will say that others had it worse. My logic sees this as true but my heart says that women playing at being men never equaled equality. In 1958 I was drummed out of the law library at the University of Florida–yes, drummed by fists on the tables and heels on the floor–because women weren’t allowed in the building. It was humiliating on the surface and scarring deep down. It was preparing me to know, that even in the year 2018, women are being harassed and hurt and will try to appear male-like to save themselves. We have to do more.

Conversational Tools to Transform Home and Work

If I create from the heart, nearly everything works; if from the head, almost nothing. Marc Chagall, Artist Our lives are a creation of our own personal intentions. It is as if we are painting our lives, or composing our lives, with an artist’s eye. As Marc Chagall famously said, art doesn’t work if it comes from the head—or the intellect. The heart has to be the fundamental source of our creations. This is true of daily interactions with friends, co-workers, family and our partners. It is also true of daily contact with those around us—like the check-out person at the grocery store, or the waitress at our favorite restaurant. The basic necessity for this kind of interaction is heart awareness. When we are heart aware, as we will be when using the tools I’m sharing, our casual and intimate conversations will be more coherent, honest and result in good… MORE

Bring Your Heart to Work

It’s time to recognize the strength and power of the human heart. It is not a false hope or a fallacy. Our hearts are the center of our being, creating a coherent and courageous place to go for true awareness and feedback in every sector of our lives. Today we’ll focus on the workplace, where we have been encouraged to leave our heart in the closet. The heart referred to is the made-up valentine heart of lace and sentimentality—not the powerful engine of our body that contains neurons that reveal our emotional strengths and vulnerabilities to us through our feelings and send messages to the brain concerning those feelings. MORE

Having a Coherent Conversation for Optimum Results

A key component of my work with clients is around the HeartMath® tool called the Coherent Communication™ Technique. This way of being in the flow with others will remove the drama from daily or ultra-sensitive conversations. One thing that is also an issue is the constant rehashing (going over again and again) of the situation that has disturbed you. This issue of post-communication energy drain is as big as the original issue of the conversation. The following steps work well in all situations where we are having a difficult interaction. In today’s business and political climate, dread of conversational blow-ups is substantially increased. When you have internalized this important tool, the drain on your battery will stop and you will again build energy reserves. Each time you have a successful communication, this energy will grow. MORE

Understanding and Accomplishing Coherence

Coherence is a state that has often been called “being in flow.” It is when the heart, mind, body and emotions are all working in sync, leading us to flow through life with intelligence, peace and composure. We are able to handle our daily interactions with clarity and maintain our energetic presence. HeartMath® views our energetic presence on a daily basis as a battery. Each thought, intention, action, and reaction either adds to the energy in our battery or depletes our energy. MORE

A Change of Heart

Pause before you act! One of the HeartMath® tools my clients find most useful— in personal and business choices—is the Freeze Frame® Technique.  Use it before engaging in an action which could drain your energy or lead to a poor choice. You will be more effective in a conversation, a meeting or a stress-possible situation. Step 1: Acknowledge the problem or issue and any attitudes or feelings about it. Step 2: Focus your attention in the area of your heart. Imagine your breath is flowing in and out of your heart or chest area, breathing a little slower and deeper than usual. (Inhale 5 seconds, exhale 5 seconds if this is more comfortable.) MORE