Healing Anger

HEALING ANGER This is a longer blog than usual since we have been in what seems like an eternity of fear, anger and sorrow. It’s important to see the benefit of growth, even if it’s painful. Abraham Maslow reminds us: In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or to step back into safety. He reminds us that pain is often life teaching us something. Yet when we are in pain, this is when we are most resistant to that belief. “No! Take it away!” I see this current climate of division, tribal loyalty and even outright hate as one of the biggest teaching moments in my lifetime. I know about Hitler and the Holocaust, but I only know by reading and feeling shock and empathy for our human ability to hate and hurt. It is the same for slavery, but I saw what happened… MORE

Safe in the Light

10/5/2018 Today is a day that will live in infamy for women and those who love them. This morning I recited a mantra from the Oracle Cards that said: “It is safe for me to be seen. I shine my light.” This afternoon that became an untruth. One of only three women allowed to serve as a Republican Senator, confirmed we are not safe. Her name is Susan Collins. Senator Grassley, Republican head of the judiciary committee was asked why there were no women on the Republican side of the committee. He said that it was hard work, and required going to meetings. My past life as a mother, PTA mom, Little League chauffeur and cook and employee was denied. As a woman, I must be too weak to attend meetings! Given the presence of Democrats on the committee, does that mean Democratic women are tougher? After the vote of… MORE

I’ve Been Thinking

Shocking! I admit that I’ve been reading Ursula LeGuin again, and she always gets my brain stirred up. She reminded me, in a satirical essay titled “Introducing Myself” from her wonderful book The Wave in the Mind, that we’re the last generation who remembers when women were “he.” Ms. LeGuin is one of those writers I go to when I want to be stimulated emotionally or intellectually or just have a good read. So, I am old enough to remember when we were up in arms about the meaning of he/her and the absolute absence of the feminine pronoun in our founding documents and everything else leading to the upheaval of the 1960s. All men are created equal, being only one example. Even that didn’t mean ALL men. She writes about the desire to live up to the label of man as a woman in American society. She reminds us:… MORE

Conversational Tools to Transform Home and Work

If I create from the heart, nearly everything works; if from the head, almost nothing. Marc Chagall, Artist Our lives are a creation of our own personal intentions. It is as if we are painting our lives, or composing our lives, with an artist’s eye. As Marc Chagall famously said, art doesn’t work if it comes from the head—or the intellect. The heart has to be the fundamental source of our creations. This is true of daily interactions with friends, co-workers, family and our partners. It is also true of daily contact with those around us—like the check-out person at the grocery store, or the waitress at our favorite restaurant. The basic necessity for this kind of interaction is heart awareness. When we are heart aware, as we will be when using the tools I’m sharing, our casual and intimate conversations will be more coherent, honest and result in good… MORE

Bring Your Heart to Work

It’s time to recognize the strength and power of the human heart. It is not a false hope or a fallacy. Our hearts are the center of our being, creating a coherent and courageous place to go for true awareness and feedback in every sector of our lives. Today we’ll focus on the workplace, where we have been encouraged to leave our heart in the closet. The heart referred to is the made-up valentine heart of lace and sentimentality—not the powerful engine of our body that contains neurons that reveal our emotional strengths and vulnerabilities to us through our feelings and send messages to the brain concerning those feelings. MORE

Having a Coherent Conversation for Optimum Results

A key component of my work with clients is around the HeartMath® tool called the Coherent Communication™ Technique. This way of being in the flow with others will remove the drama from daily or ultra-sensitive conversations. One thing that is also an issue is the constant rehashing (going over again and again) of the situation that has disturbed you. This issue of post-communication energy drain is as big as the original issue of the conversation. The following steps work well in all situations where we are having a difficult interaction. In today’s business and political climate, dread of conversational blow-ups is substantially increased. When you have internalized this important tool, the drain on your battery will stop and you will again build energy reserves. Each time you have a successful communication, this energy will grow. MORE

Understanding and Accomplishing Coherence

Coherence is a state that has often been called “being in flow.” It is when the heart, mind, body and emotions are all working in sync, leading us to flow through life with intelligence, peace and composure. We are able to handle our daily interactions with clarity and maintain our energetic presence. HeartMath® views our energetic presence on a daily basis as a battery. Each thought, intention, action, and reaction either adds to the energy in our battery or depletes our energy. MORE

A Change of Heart

Pause before you act! One of the HeartMath® tools my clients find most useful— in personal and business choices—is the Freeze Frame® Technique.  Use it before engaging in an action which could drain your energy or lead to a poor choice. You will be more effective in a conversation, a meeting or a stress-possible situation. Step 1: Acknowledge the problem or issue and any attitudes or feelings about it. Step 2: Focus your attention in the area of your heart. Imagine your breath is flowing in and out of your heart or chest area, breathing a little slower and deeper than usual. (Inhale 5 seconds, exhale 5 seconds if this is more comfortable.) MORE

Make Your Own Choices!

As a HeartMath® Trainer, Counselor, SIT™ Practitioner, Coach, Grief Counselor and author, I am often asked what I find most useful in the day-to-day navigation of life. What I learned over the years was often taught unconsciously through being a daughter, a spouse, a mother, a professional woman and someone active in my community. Without a map, I seemed to navigate through the heart. I never, ever, believed in the superiority of the brain, though throughout my life I have continued my education and my search for knowledge. It always seemed to me that in my quiet moments of contemplation—and with six children those were rare—my heart and intuition could guide my emotional life in a way the brain could not. That’s why, after my son died a violent death at the age of eleven, the advice and direction of counselors fell on deaf ears. Intellectual dissection of my emotional… MORE